dying?

last night was horror. i blacked out AGAIN. this time at st james powerhouse. FML MAX. decided to accompany my darling huiyun to club, although im not a fan of clubbing these days especially when its powerhouse where most mats and bengs hang out, and also i feel so fucking old going clubbing. wahaha. but anything for my darling! we squeezed in to the middle of the dance floor and within 15 minutes i felt my lungs failing and i was already grasping for air. yes, right in the middle of the dance floor. wahaha. i squatted down right away cos i know i was gonna pass out. and before you think i might have drank too much and was on an empty stomach ure wrong. i met them for dinner before heading to st james and i drank only ONE pathetic glass of vodka sprite over 3 freaking hours. no other drinks after that. i didnt feel any alcohol at all. i drank merely to quench my thirst. argh. so yep, i was squatting BUT my vision was still okay, then the rest insisted i leave the dance floor for some air, so i decided to stand up. HORRORRRRRRRRRRRR......i stood up and decided to push my way through the crowd, and while i was doing so my vision blurred and became whitish, i knew i was gonna pass out anytime cos it felt exactly like the past two times. i was so fucking gunchiong i just kept pushing my way through while huiyun and yanxi grabbed me by my shoulders. blind girl trying to lead the way and the two darlings so poorthing so hard for them to catch up and help open a path for me. i was so lost!!! i seriously couldnt hear what they were saying but yanxi's piercing voice actually woke my ears lol!! she was screaming at everyone "EXCUSE ME PLEASE EXCUSE ME!!!!" halfway my vision completely turned pitch black. FUCKING SCARY. it was pitch black omg. i couldnt see or hear anything anymore.my vision wasnt even blur it was just black. i just kept thinking OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IM GONNA DIE. funny how i was still pushing my way through when i couldnt see shit. my legs finally gave way when i reached a platform. wahahah. first i banged my face into someone, no idea which part but i just buried my face in someone the next thing i know i was lying on the ground. boooooooooo......... elise is down. WAHAHAH. and my poor darling huiyun!!! she tried to grab me but ended falling down herself, and her legs were cut. i feel so badddddddddddddddddddddd......... at that point of time i seriously dont know what the fuck was going on, i didnt even know she fell. i only know i was on the ground and i kept telling myself to breatheeeeeeeeeee...I DONT WANNT DIE IN POWERHOUSE DAMN IT...i believe the two of them carried me up and there were onlookers who asked if we needed help but yanxi just told them to go away and not to touch me. thanks for being protective!! the next thing i know i was on a staircase, and the crowd was still there, fml cos i believe everyone thought i was drunk as hell. wahahha. huiyun was so sweet she kept massaging me and kept talking to me, but i just couldnt move or speak and i didnt want to cos it made me feel sick. i sat there trying to catch my breath back and finally gained back my consciousness. when i opened my eyes i realize i was near the entrance of the toilet, where there was a long queue. kaoz. damn pai seh. when the girls realized i was awake we made our way through to the exit and found a place to sit that has AIRRRRRRR....... and i dont know why my stomach hurt soooooooooo bad.... as if i was having cramps but i wasnt having my period. i was in pain and dizzy. argh worst feeling ever. but it subsided after a while. i was completely okay after that. they said my face turned white and i was in cold sweat. hahah funny how after i drank half a glass of vodka my face turned lobster red but right after i entered the dance floor i became white as ghost- NO MORE CROWDED DANCING FOR ME!!! i was back to normal after i rested and we decided to go dragonfly and watch some performances. wahahaha. damn beng. but the air there's so much better. we returned to powerhouse but decided not to squeeze in with the crowd,in case i hyperventilate again. so we just stayed by the side. the rest of the night went well and boy does huiyun know how to have fun. wahahaha. crouching tiger hidden dragon man. i feel sooooooooo old damn it. i think im dying, seriously. ive been eating AS NORMAL. i just weighed myself after lunch today. 34. last week was just 34.5. MADNESS. everyone thinks i need to go for check up. after all the fainting and lost of weight. fuck man. im scared. :(